Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

This is a practical, how-to about how to evolve your brain. Build a realistic model of personal transformation. Grounded in science and age-old wisdom. Just a bit mystic, so long as it works (?).

Having an idea in your mind not validated by sensory data has always been a theme. Challenging, risky even. What you want to actualise. Often we wait for tragedy before we start to make real changes. Why wait though?

3 sections. Sections 1 & 2 more theoretical, trying to really make you understand some things. Repetition strengthens connections and the likelihood you’ll overcome resistance. In section 3 experience truth of what you learned already, for yourself.

Part 1. Chapter 1. Quantum. Observer effect. Where you direct attention effects your energy and what you observe. Why do we focus so much on “things” when really energy accounts for much more?

Chapters 2-4. What it means to change. Overcoming environmental, body and time elements. When you’re present you enter the quantum where all possibilities exist.

Chapter 5. Living in survival vs creation. Become pure consciousness, free of the chains of identity and all that.

Part 2. Chapter 6. Your brain and meditation. Move from thinking to being. Creating physiological changes helps to overwrite existing programs.

Chapter 7. How to break free of the emotions you’ve memorised (that have become your personality). Bridge gap between true self and conditioned identity, how you appear. Appear how you truly are.

Chapter 8. Meditation. Demystifying meditation. How the brain changes. Learn about entering the subconscious mind rather than the analytical. Create such a connection that nothing could move you from it.

Part 3. Multi-step meditation process to apply what you’ve learned. You’ll know the what and the why if what you’re doing, make it more powerful and intentional. External changes will give you feedback. Learn to see cause-effect of internal to external. Experience emotions such as empowerment or gratitude.

The point of personal ownership is when it gets chunked into something you can “just do” like putting your shoes on or driving a car. Rather than all the individual steps. Can be tedious at first. Pain period at first.

Part 1: The Science if You

Chapter 1: the quantum you

Matter vs thought. Then matter vs energy. Duality was the old view.

Current understanding is that we’re part of one unified whole, energetic field, that responds to our thoughts and emotions.

We all want to live life as an idealised version of who we can be. Infinite spectrum of images. Which one is the real us?

Beliefs are the reason our past attempts have failed. Didn’t realise that thoughts make all the difference.

Cosmology. This is meant to challenge your understanding, the view where the linear and orderly rules the day. Hopefully accepting this new world view is challenging.

Mind vs matter appears to us be real paradigm (it’s not). How could mind effect the physical? This requires a shift in understanding of the physical.

Descartes. Mechanistic view of the universe. Couldn’t unify physical with mind but had to account for the presence of both, so he said mind was beyond the bounds of scientific enquirery. Mind was God’s instrument: the domain of religion. So began the dualistic view that prevailed for centuries.

Newton strengthened this. Classical mechanics. Everything is solid. Energy is merely outsource force on the material. (On the contrary: energy is what the material is composed of).

This view suggests that human mind has no impact on the physical. Quite a helpless view.

Einstein. E = mc^2. This shows energy is fundamentally related, interchangeable. It showed that newton-Descartes view was flawed at the most fundamental level: subatomic. Quantum physics was born. Dramatic paradigm shift.

We used to believe that atoms were solid, countable, weighable. In reality atoms are mostly empty space and are made of energy. Like a cloud? Unpredictable. Non-reproducible. Can’t observe without changing.

It seems that the very small and the very big obey different sets of laws.

In the quantum, things behave to elusively, jumping in and out of existence. Not obeying time? Changing dimensions? Transforming from particle to wave.

A particle cannot manifest in reality until we observe it.

This is known as the observer effect. The collapse of the wave function. With this discovery mind and matter can no longer be considered seperate. Energy responds to mindful intention and becomes matter.

Starts in wave state when not observed. Pure potential. Anything you can cknceivd already exists as a possibility in the quantum field, waiting to be observed by you. A reality where you are healthy, wealthy and happy.

Mind and matter are completely entangled. Mind has effect on energy/matter because your consciousness is energy. And energy has consciousness. You are energy with a consciousness.

Everyone broadcasts a distinct energy pattern or signature. This energy carries information.

Prayer, sepsis experiments. People who were prayed for retroactively got better.

State of body and state of mind are much the same. The body influences matter as well.

We communicate with quantum field primarily with our thoughts and feelings.

Heart math research institute. Link between emotional state and heart rhythms. Bad emotions make heart Rhythms erratic and disorganised. Good emotions produce highly ordered patterns (heart coherence). Experiment showing intention could wind/unwind DNA in a vial. Could only occur when they were in positive emotional state. The positive emotional intent and thought did nothing on their own, but together they had the intended effect.

Quantum field doesn’t respond to what we want, it responds to who we are being.

Think like this: thoughts provide the electrical and feelings the magnetic. Together they create an electromagnetic signature we broadcast. There are signatures for things like health, genius, wealth. The theory is that we need to make out just have the signature of what we want to attract.

We need to create a new electromagnetic signature… to pull us towards the potential reality we want.

Wave patterns. Much more powerful when coherent, aligned. Like when your thoughts, feelings are aligned.

Story of catholic guilt confusing the signal. Making it an incoherent signature. Thinking in one way, feeling another.

Manifestations should surprise us. Shows it’s sublime, inspired. The same you trying to control the outcome. Newtonian. Leave the how to the quantum field. Leap of faith necessary, desirable even.

Be grateful for things that haven’t happened yet. You need to feel as if something has already happened.

It makes sense that there is an intelligence at play, organising energy into systems such as matter is made of. The same universal intelligence that prompts the heart to beat, trees to grow, gallaxies to form. Personal and universal. It observed everything into physical form. Pure love?

Be bold enough to ask for a sign that the great intelligence has heard you as well. Monitor the feedback you get.

In the quantum everything is inter-communicating in a higher dimension of information. So a+b=c doesn’t necessarily apply.

*Cute story about how his daughter manifested a trip to Italy.

Chapter 2: overcoming your environment

You have to change the way you routinely think and feel each day, or else you will get more of the same. Further reaffirming that reality.

Most people focus on:

  • Environment
  • Body
  • Time

We need to transcend this. Need an idealised image different to these.

Everything has been stored in the brain. Experiences with people and things in times and places. Our external environment.

We automatically think in a certain way based on our previous experiences. So external influences internal, even controls it(?).

Your identity becomes defined by the external environment. Your mind becomes equal to the external environment.

Your brain doesn’t change at all when you do all the same things everyday. The same thoughts, feelings, actions. Input remains the same so output does as well.

hebb’s law(?). Nerve cells that fire together wire together. Easier to fire in unison again next time. In this way patterns develop in a hardwired way, unconscious habits. Habitat becomes habit.

Your personality forms. Attitudes, actions become like a signature. Slave to your environment. Most don’t really fight it either.

Must create a new personality.

Something common to many great people is they have a vision and believe in it though it may not be presently actualised. Negative feedback did not discourage Gandhi for example. He didn’t need positive feedback to continue. Left the how to a greater mind.

Visualisation creates as much new brain circuitry as actually playing keyboard for example.

If we think about something to the exclusion of everything else… ? That become a moment where internal overcomes external environment?

Can mentally rehearse something you can create the neural networks to be how you want before you’re in the situation.

Make your brain from a record of the past to a map of the future.

Chapter 3: overcoming your body

The body receives chemical signals from the brain, and transmits a signal back, indicating that it’s feeling how the brain told it to.

Neurotransmitters, neuropeptides and hormones. (Leganes?).

Have sexual thoughts and then hormones will change in the body.

We first begin to feel the way we think and then think the way we feel.

Feelings associated with the body, thoughts with the mind. Together these factors are a state of being. These states of being become familiar, then a part of our identity. Becomes “I am…” after being strongly habituated. Such as: I am angry, I am not smart etc.

A single thought can snowball into you being an “angry person” for example. So you need to think “greater than” your feelings to avoid this happening.

Things become more and more hardwired the more you experience them. The body learns to memorise certain emotions. Becomes an unconscious program.

The body becomes the subconscious mind(?).

We live by habit when we live without consciousness. The body takes over, makes decisions equal to its memorised emotions.

The mind should probably be in charge but if it isn’t the “servant” body becomes the master.

The subconscious mind only knows what you’ve programmed it to do. In this book we’ll learn how to get into the subconscious and rewire it.

Cells become habituated to certain emotions (such as guilt). It’s a bit like addiction. We get addicted to guilt. New cells inherit it. Trying to. Hangs your emotional patterns is like going through drug withdrawal.

A conscious intent to stop being so guilty will be noticed by the body, which will want to return to normal levels of guilt. Resistance. Mental amnesia sets in and we forget our intention. We slip back into being immersed in old patterns.

Stopping habits causes chaos to rage between the body and the mind.

To change your personality, you need to change your state of being, which is intimately linked to your emotional patterns.

Positive thinking by itself never works.

Body keeps reliving past event? Body living in the past? (Not sure about this part). Creates more of the past. Like people that always live in “the good old days”.

Environment more causative than genetics with diseases. 95%.

Cells make proteins. Different cells make different proteins, using genes as blueprints.

Epigenetic changes. Paradigm shift. Less deterministic. Genetic code doesn’t change, but cells can be taught to produce certain proteins more or less, so there is a change in outcome. Genes “turned on/off”.

Laughing at a comedy show altered at least 23 gene expressions. New emotion changed expression of gene. Can happen quickly: hair turn grey overnight, because of traumatic stress.

If you’ve thoughtfully rehearsed something and experienced the emotions, then basically it’s already occurred in terms of gene expression.

chapter 4: overcoming time

All potentials exist in the present, quantum-speaking.

When you think about Past trauma, you start feeling that way again in response to certain triggers. Like Pavlov’s dog. Subconscious body/mind is living in the past.

Certain triggers make us feel a certain way. We need to break these triggered reactions to break out old patterns.

A temperament is an emotion with a refractory period of a few days to a few months. Longer than that and it becomes a personality trait. For example people might say you’re bitter or judgemental.

Our personality is anchored in the past. To change we have to move out of the past.

Sometimes we learn to anticipate things and he anticipation makes us feel as if it’s happening.

It can be hard to concentrate on anything else other than emotionally charged anticipation.

Living in the past, being pessimistic and anticipating something negative will increase the likelihood of a bad experience.

Living in the present on the other hand will give you access to all the possibilities in the quantum field.

Learn how to live your desired future in the now.

The single greatest impediment is thinking equal to your environment, body and time. Learning to think greater than these is first goal before the meditations. Doing this is a lot like flow.

In flow an hour can seem to go by in an instant. Refreshing experience. Environment, body and time seem to disappear.

Chapter 5: survival vs creation

Living in an unwanted past or future is living in stress. It’s like being in a survival mindset not a creation mindset.

Survival mode. Deer in the forest, perceives danger, fight-flight response turned on by autonomic nervous system. Body chemically altered: adrenal glands. Uses a lot of energy? After threat diminishes, in 15 minutes will return to homeostasis. Humans have this same response.

Humans have stress response to many things. We can even do it through anticipation or memories. Body has stress response even though cause of stress not actually happening.

We need to learn to turn off the fight-flight response. Can get sick otherwise. Stress causes us to get those genetic diseases. Lose energy.

Overproduction of stress hormones leads to anger, fear, envy, hatred. Inside feelings of aggression, frustration, anxiety and insecurity. Causes us to expression pain, suffering, sadness, hopelessness and depression.

1. Body must be taken care

2. Where can I go

3. How long do I have

What we focus on in stress^. We grow to be materialists this way, and not spiritual. The chemicals force is to think about materialistic things. We focus on the .001% that isn’t energy?

The more we allow our senses to define our reality the more it also determines our reality. We go Newtonian.

Why do we experience ourselves as matter rather than energy? The survival oriented emotions are lower frequency/energy emotions. They vibrate slower and ground us to being physical. Body literally becomes more matter less energy.

To elevate to higher consciousness we need to elevate above these survival emotions/ the big 3.

We get addicted to our thoughts which provide us an unconscious adrenaline high. We’re addicted to stress. Low vibration energy. We lose our sense of self without them. How would we know who we are without the big 3?

Ego. When balanced it’s natural instinct is self preservation. This is good. In stress though the ego becomes over-focused on self to the exclusion of everything else.

To lose track of all the material things is the beginning of freedom from our present lives.

Story of guy who overcame cancer by changing his state of being.

Can’t enter the quantum field as a someone. Must be nobody, no environment, no time(?).

Prefrontal cortex. Tends to be creative centre and decision making part. Seat of concentration, awareness, focus. Where we speculate on possibilities, demonstrate intention, control impulsive behaviours and learn new things.

Has 3 main functions/steps(?).

1. Metacognition; become self aware of what’s happening with us, know thyself, beliefs. Must become aware of your current personality: how you think, act and feel. See if they’re true and whether you want to endorse them with your energy. Learn to notice things in your awareness, thereby you can stop those patterns.

2. Creating a new mind to think about new ways of being. Can pick things known from experience: create a model. Open ended inquiries. The answers that come will naturally form a new mind, require yourself neurologically. Learn as much as you can about it: building blocks.

3. Making thought more real than anything else. Frontal lobe can turn down the volume on sensory, time, identity and motor areas of the brain. In this state there is no self or ego as we’ve known it. This is a creative state. Here you can recondition your mind. Frontal lobe = volume control.

The energy has to go to a new place. It goes to the heart and brain. We feel great once we stop powering that emotional, stressful self. Higher vibration state.

You trust that it will happen because you’ve already experienced it. You’re grateful for it.

The old pathways no longer fire together and that’s when the old you starts to be dismantled biologically. You stop expressing the same genes in the same ways.

Part 2: your brain and meditation

Chapter 6: three brains: thinking to doing go being

Computer / brain analogy. You have all the hardware and software but do you know how to use it? That’s what this part is about. Learning to drive analogy: thinking to doing to being. You can skip ‘doing’ step in some cases.

Brain elasticity throughout adulthood. However, if you don’t use it you lose it. You can consciously unwise certain connections.

“Unlearning and learning”. Process?

Must create a new way of thinking, doing and being.

The three brains?

1. Thinking brain / neo cortex. Seat of our identity and consciousness. Prefrontal lobe is one of four parts. Learn, remember. Reason, analyse, create, speculate. Plugs you into sensory reality. Think about doing bings differently -> different outcome. Knowledge is for the mind”.

2. Limbic brain is the chemical/emotional brain. Experiences enrich brain more than knowledge via limbic, which releases new emotions which signal new genes -> changes in the body. Emotionally charged memories easier to recall, bigger imprint on the person. “Experience is for the body”. Knowledge and experience both needed, take knowledge and live it, embrace it emotionally. Next you’ve got to memorise it and make it subconscious.

3. Cerebellum. The seat of the subconscious. Most active part of the brain. Each cell can connect with 200000 – 1000000 other cells. Processes balance, spatial awareness, coordination, movement of body parts. Habits, skills etc stores kind programs. “Hard to describe how you do it” when this part is doing it. New neurochemical self.

E.g. learn about compassion through books. Gain new knowledge. Sustained new connections by studying it every day. Put it into practise. Dislike mother in law. Then you think about compassion theoretically. Start thinking about new ways of behaving with her. This creates new software. Begin to notice old patterns which were unconscious. New behaviour etc causes new experiences with her, soon you truly feel compassion for her. Different chemistry, gene expression.

Can you repeat compassion independently of environment? This is the point of mastery. Being something should be easy and natural at this point.

You’ll know the meditations worked if you feel different. New personality is new reality. If you can create a new feeling that lasts, then outside changes should follow. Broke the cause and effect model of the universe.

Use elevated emotions to create your new reality.

Chapter 7: the gap

Externally sourced good feelings not real(?).

Gap between how we appear and how we really are. How we are without all the other places, people and things(?).

How you really feel if you take all of that stimulation of outer reality. Feelings about a failed marriage, fear of death, loss of a loved one, a sense of inadequacy due to a parent’s insistence perfectionism, stifled entitlement, preoccupation with thoughts about not having the right body. These kinds of feelings are what we want to conceal, who we truly are. We create a set of memorised automatic programs to cover these parts of us because society’s mores di not have room for that person (track 10, 8:45).

In a word, adolescence is insecurity(?). They seek conformity, identity. Self consciousness ensues.

We’re all scarred by traumatic events as young people. Defining events the emotions of which contribute, later by later, to who we are.

Our choices and actions often motivated by feelings left over from events earlier in life. Then we get really busy with everything in adulthood. We use everything to distract us from hoe we really feel inside. But our baggage from our past always catches up with us, usually this happens in mid-thirties but varies.

By this time when the personality is mature we know a lot about life and it’s nuances. We develop expectations about events because we know how it feels before it occurs.

Mid life crisis: realising you’re “the same leopard that hasn’t changed its spots”.

People try to recreate the original coping mechanism.

Some people face it head on and intently look at it. They wake up, who they are, what they’ve been hiding. They let go of the facade. Stops expending energy required to maintain this illusory image.

Relationships often firm because people share the same experiences and emotions.

Think of emotions like energy in motion. Breaking energetic bonds with people is a threatening moment for them.

When your life is over you can no longer look to the external. You’ll still be left with the bottom hand stuff (the real you, too hand is projected you). Never evolved as a soul in that lifetime.

Porn, gambling, overeating. How we deal with the unhappiness. Becomes addiction. You need a little bit more each time because receptor sites get desensitised.

Using the outer world to change the inner world doesn’t work. It makes it worse: widening the gap.

Wanting to be successful in life such as rich or famous, “possessed by our possessions”.

Eventually nothing is ever enough. Sex, drugs, alcohol, consumerism. Chronically depressed, bitter, angry, unwell. This is part of what the book is meant to address.

When you try to figure out your life with the same consciousness that created it, you will analyse your life away and excuse yourself from ever changing. Instead let’s unmenorise our self-limiting emotions. Memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom.

Changing, closing the gap, must begin from within.

With the meditations you want to get to the point that nothing heretofore unconscious goes unnoticed.

Case study of woman not receiving child support.

What energy from past experiences in the form of limited emotions am I holding onto that reinforces my past identity and emotionally attaches me to my current circumstances. Could I transform this energy into an elevated state to create a new and different outcome?

When you’re really not lacking: that’s when you can really start to manifest.

Advertising plays on our lack(?).

Chapter 8: meditation, demystifying the mystical and waves of your future

Meditation does so much for our purposes. Bridging the gap etc. The number one benefit is being able to access the operating system of subconscious mind.

Move from unconsciously doings things to conscious. This is the key. Being it to observing it.

Meditation here means self observation and development.

By observing you “prune away” old neurological processes.

What is the greatest expression of myself that I would like to be?

So begin with meditation to remove old self, then add new self?

Like a garden. Very conscious process, daily. Seeking to harvest a new reality.

It’s good to begin with focusing on just one aspect of your old self.

Brainwave frequencies: delta (deep sleep, theta (twilight between sleep and wakefulness), alpha (creative imaginative state), beta (higher frequency during conscious thought), gamma (highest recorded frequency, seen in elevated states of consciousness).

This is useful because it helps to determine when you’re in a state conducive to change, not just the ego trying to change itself.

Ideally we want to be at gamma?

Delta. Infants and asleep adults in delta. Conscious mind operating at very low levels at this point. Deep sleep. Body restoring itself.

Theta. 2-4 years old. Trancelike, imagination. Not much conscious thought. At this point phrases like the following have a big impact “big boys don’t cry”, “girls should be seen not heard”, “your sister is smarter than you”. They go straight to the subconscious mind because these slow brainwave states are the realm of the subconscious. This is the state where hypnotists can access because there’s no veil between the conscious and subconscious minds.

Alpha. 5-8 years old. Analytical mind begins to form. “Good at pretending”? Brainwaves slow to alpha when you close your eyes and the brain received less sensory data, inner world consumes your attention.

Beta. 12 onwards. Above 13 cycles per second in children. Low, mid and high ranges. Represents conscious analytical thinking. You’re probably in beta while reading this. Processing sensory data.

You can see that as he brain waves slow, we recede into the subconscious mind. The reverse is also true. These will become familiar to you hopefully.

We’re trying to move into theta in meditative state.

Low beta is very easy attention, such as rereading an easy book you’re enjoying. Mid is like learning, requires analytical thinking etc. High is in stressful situations where survival chemicals are in the body (mind is a bit too amped up).

Maintaining high beta for long periods requires a high amount of energy. Also it’s unbalanced, volatile etc. Unfortunately many people are in this state a lot or most of the time. Pathological behaviour such as power hungriness. powerlessness, pain. Everything is an emergency. It’s like driving a car in first gear. Bad feelings. Brain no longer thinks in a holistic fashion, but rather is like a house divided against itself. Over long term can cause arrhythmia, digestion problems, arthritis.

Stress is a result of addiction to the big 3.

The problems you’re trying to solve can’t be solved in the emotion you’re in. When everything seems like a crisis, your brain makes survival a priority, not learning.

Sometimes there are many different wave patterns simultaneously, forming an incoherent signature. Not good for manifesting.

Awareness can exist outside of analysis.

Associations make up most of subconscious mind?

Can’t access subconscious in analytical mind. We can after quitening it with meditation. Slows brain down to alpha. Slower, more coherent pattern.

Buddhist monk brain study. Whilst meditating on lovingkindness in morning their waves were off the chart. Then they went to town. They maintained same coherent brainwave patterns. They didn’t go into survival like most of us. This is the goal.

Emotions like love and joy are already profoundly coherent. Easier to channel them if already coherent?

Part 3: stepping towards your new destiny

Chapter 9: the meditative process; introduction and preparation

The purpose of meditation is to relax and access the subconscious. Book thus far has been to understand this part.

You want to make a new skill a habit. Build steps and then chunk them together until they look like one motion which produces the intended result. That’s what you want to do with the skill of this meditation.

Work on mastering each step. Work on each for at least a week.

Suggested program:

  • Week 1: chapter 10. Everyday do step 1 (induction)
  • Week 2: chapter 11. Everyday do step 1, then add step 2 (recognising), step 3 (admitting and declaring) and step 4 (surrendering)
  • Week 3: Chapter 12. Do steps 1-4 and add step 5 (observing and reminding) and step 6 (redirecting)
  • Week 4: Chapter 13. Steps 1-6 and add step 7 (creating and rehearsing)

Chapter 10: open the door to your creative state

Week 1.

Hypnosis and self-hypnosis involves moving from beta to alpha brain waves. This is induction.

Takes up to the first 20minutes.

  • Sit up straight
  • Close your eyes
  • Focus on the body

Technique 1: Body part induction. Body/merged with subconscious. Thinking about body puts you in your cerebellum (seat of subconscious). You think about location of orientation of your body. Sense density, weight, heaviness. Scan from part to part. Sense the tear-dropped shape of space around your body. Become aware of the way the room occupies space, the volume it fills.

Technique 2: water rising technique. Imagine water slowly rising in the room, observe the space the water occupies around you. Slowly scanning up. Until it fills the entire room.

chapter 11: prune away the habit of being yourself

Step 2. Recognising. Identify the problem, name it(?). Once you are relaxed, watch yourself. Be the observer of the self. Be conscious of what was once unconscious.

Pose some frontal lobe questions:

  • What kind of person have I been?
  • What kind of person do I present to the world? What is one side of my “gap” like?
  • What kind of person am I really like inside? What is the other side of my gap like?
  • Is there a feeling I experience or even struggle with over and over with, everyday?
  • How would my closest friends and family describe me?
  • Is thee something about my self that I hide from others?
  • What part of my personality do I need to work on improving?
  • What is one thing I want to change about myself?

Choose an emotion to unmemorise. Choose one of your afflictive emotional states of mind, one of the habits of being yourself you want to relinquish. These emotions are at the root of a lot.

Pick one emotion that is a big part of who you are. That you want to unmemorise. E.g. denial, anxiety.

  • Observe how the emotion feels in your body.
  • Observe your state of mind, attitude when you feel this emotion. E.g. competitive, self-pitying, overly intellectual, lazy, needy, self involved, sensitive?

Step 3. Acknowledge and declare. Owning up your failures, to a higher/universal power.

Change in joy instead of pain.

Opportunity to write: talk intimately and honestly with this higher power, tell it the stories you’ve carried around with you. E.g. o feel like I haven’t been able to do what I needed all these years.

Bridges the gap, releases energy that can be used for building a new you.

Admission is internal but declaration is external. What do you want to declare?

Step 4: surrendering. Yield to a greater power, allow it to resolve your limitations or blocks.

Let it take care of the how. The ego must relinquish control.

Your giving up that emotion you don’t want anymore.

You don’t have to do anything in exchange. You can’t tell it how to do anything.


Write: surrender statements.

Hand over that part of you to the higher mind to make it something greater.

Be thankful. Thankfulness is the supreme state of receivership.


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