A few days ago I listened to the audiobook “seven spiritual laws of success”. I was interested in that because I felt like there was too much “forcing” used in my life and not much in the way of investment by others. I felt like I had become a person who was obsessed with personal outcomes and that something about that was pushing things away rather than attracting things to me, as I would hope.
I’ve always felt that women are a bit like nature. In the sense that nature is harsh and you have to face your dragon or your personal demons et cetera. By the same token I surmised that in some nuanced ways certain “spiritual laws” would apply with women as well. Surely there must be some counter principles to the ones which were making me feel forced and seeming to get the very worst treatment from them. This was making me unhappy whenever I was around women including at work or jiu jitsu.
There were seven principles. I didn’t really apply them each specifically, but rather felt that I had a sense of the book as a whole so applied it as such. I think the idea that stuck with me the most though was about that of giving. And also that of karma, which seems closely related to giving. Although it may differ in mechanics, it is similar in the place it comes from.
The key idea for me was that if you want things to flow to you, then you have to also give. I have the image of needing to free up space for new things to come in. I saw this as directly related to my toxic interactions with women. I’d do all this stuff to try and incite respect and validation, but it would never seem to come. I was trying to get my world a certain way. It honestly felt like they were enjoying making me suffer by holding out what I wanted. How could anyone not hate women in this scenario?
I never had sisters growing up. I went to an all boys school. I’m an intj. Im somewhat orderly and despise feminism. I’m average height and a bit ectomorphic. I had a string of unsuccessful experiences with women in my formative years whilst comparing myself to people around me who seemed to be succeeding. Hence why I’m interested in game. Basically, women are a bit of a mystery to me. I don’t want to know everything about them I just want to know how I can stop suffering so much because of them. Preferably without needing to skip town.
Sure enough I had my first glimpse of hope from applying these principles. My understanding is as follows. I was trying to apply logic and force in order to get what I wanted. I was holding on to all of my hurt from past experiences and using that as a reason. What I wasn’t doing was offering any value myself. I didn’t trust that it would be returned because it seems so much like being nice.
Perhaps the greatest reason I have come across that men are inherently the leading gender is that women react to men. Also leadership requires rationality and order. So you can’t expect them to take responsibility to act towards you a certain way. You have to find something within your self and make that the thing that’s happening and then they react a certain way. Or in more specific terms, you need to give even when it seems like you’re losing out.
It worked well for a few days. I felt like I was going out on a limb and giving validation away but the principle seemed to hold true. I was getting more back in return. Maybe not from the same person but from someone else. I ended up talking to about 5 girls at once by messages. Only one I know for sure is more than friends but all of them seem to have the positivity flowing, which is part of what I wanted. I suspect there is an attraction there for most of them. This frame is new to me.
I was in heaven for a while. I was having all of these positive interactions. I felt good about giving. I felt great about receiving good attention and intention and signs of attraction. I heard the word nice come up a few times which threatened to shut down the party. I just kept going though, giving despite. And the music kept playing and I kept receiving. I got into the habit of sending positive vibes to a woman in public whenever they make me feel that way that I hate. It seemed like this broke the matrix a bit. It seemed to make them feel bad. Doing this also made me feel in abundance. Two girls put their hands up to cohost events. I kept giving to the girl who wouldn’t put out whilst maintaining strong boundaries, and then she offered me in theory to come over when her parents are out of town. So now I feel like there’s a path forward with that, almost out of thin air.
I thought I was on to the winning ticket. I began to feel like I was giving the nice vibe more and more, the more I focused on giving as the ultimate solution. I began to feel lighter and lighter, less of a badass. Somewhere along the way I lost interest in picking up girls or even bothering try to pull at all. I was happy just being a friend or interest who received respect and validation.
I’ve felt pressure to focus on something else for a few days now. I decided to keep giving anyway. Today though I feel like I’m beating a dead horse. I feel like I’ve become the nice guy who expects something in return. On the other hand I feel like I’ve found a neural pathway for actually liking women. Hence why I’m writing this.
I feel that I’ve become aware of a principle that heretofore I was suffering from my ignorance of. And today, I’ve become aware of the truth that if you focus on something too long it becomes you. And at this point other switches get neglected and you seem like a caricature.
I believe the spiritual principle of giving so as to receive is important. What I’m not sure is how to apply it effectively and so it doesn’t react adversely with other principles. For example I don’t think it’s good to give money, because then you get lumped in as a provider who doesn’t get sex. Doing it so habitually that you become a nice guy doesn’t work because it makes their panties drier than the Simpson Desert.
Perhaps the way is to proactively give sometimes. Enough that of things flow to you too without forcing them. And to keep you awake to the spiritual. Not just thoughts and validation though. Earnestly put yourself out to someone. Give them that gift. Flirting with fatties and oldies seems to go alright. Thinking of something you like about people seems to be a victimless crime. Being present… is a present.