The Basic Dilemma of Modern Day Dating

This is something that I think a lot about. I’m sure many people do. Yet you never really hear anyone talk about it unless it’s anonymously. And it’s never presented as a well-developed idea. It’s usually people complaining.

There is a basic dilemma. A conflict of sexual strategies between men and women. In the past, there was a system, where it sort of balanced out. Both genders gave something up and received something they value. Society got to keep on reproducing and functioning. That system was that people saved themselves (as far as I know) until marriage, had children quite young and stayed together for life.

That doesn’t happen much in western culture anymore. I would say that certain lucky couples get together when they’re teenagers and then stay together for life. The couples I know who did that were 9’s and 10’s.

Here’s what has happened with me. Ever since I reached puberty I have felt a lot of pressure to be successful with women. It’s been the biggest focus of my life. I’ve grown up watching a lot of guys fuck, date and relate with gorgeous girls, since about the age of 14. By far the most time I have spent was a dry spell, lonely, sexually frustrated. The times where I’ve had a girl sexually were the happiest of my life but it’s also left me damaged in recent years because I was usually dumped after I had developed feelings.

Some guys had success early on and have kept having success ever since (throughout my dry spells). Take my neighbor for instance. I have seen him take home probably 4-5 girls in the few months I’ve been here. Hot ones. Tinder dates probably. Yet last night I went on my day 3 with an unattractive girl and she wouldn’t even come over in a near-perfect opportunity. I did like her, we got along well, I liked kissing her. I sent her a message ending it though. I can’t accept being a second-class man. She played hard-ball with me and would have me in scarcity, so I played hard-ball with her.

You tell this to women and they think it’s the most normal thing in the world. Men are created unequal in their minds. The problem is there’s no middle ground for them. It’s all or nothing. This girl I was seeing apparently didn’t think or feel to even visit my flat after 3 days, even though there are people hooking up on Tinder and pickups straight away. That’s what I mean by there’s no middle ground. In her mind there’s just about no good time to have sex, within any reasonable amount of time anyway. I falsely believed that if I just waited and invested a bit then the time would come. I was wrong.

What I learned was that you have to come from the player frame. Otherwise, women won’t fuck you for some indefinite period of time. I’m sad that it has to be that way I would prefer some middle ground. To me it’s untenable because it’s getting treated worse than many other guys, in the same society. And yet many women seem to hate you if you come from this frame. Certainly older women.

In this frame you basically have to do all this stuff like work out, not talk about certain things, speak a certain way, dress a certain way. It’s better if you didn’t grow up in that city I think. All of it draws the ire of other people and attracts disapproval from women.

If most guys say that they’re a vegetarian, they’ll get immediately put in the friendzone. Same with saying you work in IT. Same with trying to earn good money. Am I the only one who think that fucking sucks? Those things are good, not bad. They get you put in this second-class frame though. Women aren’t reasonable about this. When they try to reason they get very uncooperative and sexually conservative which is precisely the opposite of what the man wants.

It is my honest opinion that if you’re in the provider frame then you’re more likely to get cheated on or divorced. Women want to have children and they want to have a provider for that, so that’s why they look for guys to date and ‘get serious with’. If they’re sexually attractive, and are not sexually attracted to the man, and they can cheat or leave without problems, then that looks like a recipe for disaster for the man in my view. How does it start? The provider frame; with a girl who isn’t into you sexually.

Things like social ruin would make her more likely to stay faithful and loyal, but that doesn’t really happen in our culture. Even women who kill their husbands don’t seem to draw too much ire. If you try to shame them then women just sort of lose respect for you, call you a sexist or put you in the friend zone, so no one really does it. Me writing this is marginalising myself in a huge way. Women would just sort of see zero value in me and not respect me, so that makes me feel bad because of scarcity and the looming death of my genes. You get triggered by that feeling that you’re not able to reproduce.

How is it from women’s point of view? Well it’s my impression that almost no woman in western culture wants to miss out on alpha male dick while she’s in her prime. Yet that is the very cause of the problem. It’s why I refuse to settle for a woman who has had this phase until I have been the alpha male the dick inside the girl is attached to. What they’re doing is using their most attractive years to fuck and then went they’re on the precipice of becoming unattractive they start looking for guys to be loyal, without even giving the guy what he really wants and that they’ve given other guys. That seems like a very raw deal to me.

All the years of dry spells and unhappiness while some people have been fucking as much as they want. My calculation for fair deal age of the woman is this: age of consent + number of years you got a fair shake. So for me that would be about 19. I know it’s not exactly a deal. It’s not a logical thing. It’s a reason though. And it is fair. If you live by this and manage to pimp it then you’re not a second class man anymore.

This might sound like it’s anti-woman but it’s not. Because they want to play the field in their prime years. Party. It’s simply a matter of being the guy that they want to have those experiences with. It’s the frame they choose, just the other side of it.

Lately I’ve been finding it much more motivating to imagine the worst-case scenario: that I will never be able to make women respond to me sexually, that I am confined to the fate of beta male, that I will be disrespected and devalidated by women constantly for the rest of my life, put in scarcity, that I will somehow be forced to accept providing for a landwhale who then cheats on me and takes everything from me, and my genes will die out. All the while some guys are living in what I would consider heaven, being loved without any of the bullshit and quite often cheating. It’s like a nightmare I had where I’m stuck in some desolate place with 1 guy and 2 girls, and the guy has both girls, and they want it that way.

Nevertheless, the myth that I love the most in this life (a true myth) is the myth of the introverted or short or ugly guy who learns to be a pimp. Tyler is the obvious example. I know a guy who is 35, I love him so I won’t say anything about how he looks and is a complete pimp. I myself have been a pimp at certain times. So I know it’s possible. Actually, it’s incredibly simple. It’s just that society seems to demand that you feel it’s impossible.

And there’s a lot of people out there who want you to fail. Guys who are envious. Women who are past their prime and now want society to be sexually conservative. The people who want you to succeed are younger guys who aspire to the same thing and younger women who are in that phase who happen to find you attractive at the moment.

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