In the last 10 years or so I’ve done quite a bit of meditation. Usually for periods of a few days to a month. What always happens is I get to a point where it seems like I’m getting diminished returns. Or if I’m emotionally honest, it just seems a bit unappealing. So I stop doing it. Then I will forget the practice altogether and go about life. My mind will get progressively noisier. Until after a month or two I’m forced to start meditating again in order to avoid suffering. And the cycle continues.
What’s interesting about that is that science tells us that after a few months of meditation you start to see physical changes in the brain. There is a buildup of grey matter in the prefrontal cortex among other things (see The Willpower Instinct).
What I’m hypothesizing is that the point at which meditation starts to seem a bit distasteful is the point at which it begins to have profound impact. As in The War of Art, resistance occurs when we’re reaching a point of endeavor at which our reality begins to change character. For example, reaching a higher level of creative output.
This change for the better is what we say we want. Most all of us have ambitions. Even if it’s just to survive. Many of us value inner peace and liberation. Yet it is when we’re beginning to see results, such as at the gym, that we feel our motivation wane. When we’re becoming a calmer person like we always wanted, meditation seems unappealing.
What I will do from now on is recognise a bored attitude towards meditation for what it is: resistance. A signpost that I’ve done good work so far and now is a crossroads at which I can choose real change, or alternatively to spiral downwards. To say no is to return to a cycle of frustrated aspiration. To say yes is to reshape your brain and repaint your reality. To reach a higher energy vibration and state of consciousness.