Today I received a message from my business partner, showing that he is putting some effort into the venture. That’s promising because you never know if someone will flake in early stages. Receiving this message got me thinking and then I put in some more work myself, coming up with a system for the venture.

The solution I decided upon was to simply use a shared notebook in Evernote. We confirmed that we could both view and edit everything in the notebook. I added about 7 new notes. Things like: business plan, goals, resources, decisions to be made, ideas, mailing list. I think this is a good step for building trust because it gives him full access to what my designs are.

Advertisements
Posted in All

Today I went to a barbecue hosted by a guy I knew growing up. He was the man. He’s turning 28 now. So are most of the girls. I’d all but lost contact with that group, or anyone else I knew as a teenager. It was pleasant to see them though. I think I got invited because I manage a meetup now and I reached out to his girlfriend for a review. I didn’t stay long.

I’ve always sort of identified with the narrative of the guy who took the right path. Got off cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Got into self development and then unfriended just about everyone I was ever close with because they were “toxic”. There’s an assumption that it ultimately works out to be better that way. Maybe it’s the way my mind thinks long-term that led me to take this path.

It seems that lately I’ve come full circle. I took the path of self development through loneliness. Unintegrated seems like an apt adjective for it. I’ve founded a few ventures which have been like my anchors to society. This week I started FLAGS tribe. It feels like my life’s true purpose.

Something about finding my life’s true purpose made me feel like it was safe to open the door to all the people I disconnected from over the years. So I sent friend requests to about 10 people: my best friends over the years, most of which were from a substance-abusing phase. I’ve not really had close friendships like that since.

There’s so many things to say. I’ll just say how it feels though. It feels dirty. I feel like other people are dirty. I feel less like being a pickup artist (but that might be resistance) and yet it seems more obvious than ever why I need to be a pickup artist, in order to avoid the lifelong identity of beta male. I felt like a beta male at the barbecue before despite being the most successful there and being a leader. I felt like I was the provider. That whole thing is so gross to me.

I feel like turning the music up because I can’t stand the feeling of hearing my mother in the next room. That’s new. I just got things feeling clean with her. I just got things feeling good in general. So why did I go and do something to make everything feel bad again?

What I feel is that I have stuff to deal with. I’ve had to deal with it for years, but in order to do so I had to feel confident in my future. I’m dealing with it now. I feel irrational, the smell wafting up from downstairs is getting on my nerves. I feel contemptful. I feel grateful that mum left the house. Just sitting here at my desk watching family guy I feel almost pained. I feel particularly annoyed with signs of lack of respect or attraction from women. Of being an unworthy male despite all that I do.

The way I think about it though is as follows. There’s a whole world out there to explore. It’s appealing to do that when you don’t like what you came up from. It’s stronger to do that from a place of deep acceptance though. To feel the presence of others from your weaker past and be on your purpose as well which develops something better. Ultimately their presence should be untriggering. It might be harder for them than you if you’re successful.

Posted in All

A Model For The Advancement Of Men

I had an epiphany today. When I was thinking about how society doesn’t seem to be responding to the needs and wants of men. It’s like mens’ collective will doesn’t have any traction in society. On the other hand feminists simply apply the generations-old tactic of using ‘reason’. It seems to work notwithstanding the fact that feminist arguments for the most part can’t even stand up in a debate. They simply plot amongst themselves, point to a few inequities and collectively use that to justify changing society to suit themselves. They have learned to believe in it, like a religion. They have succeeded greatly, on many levels.

So why doesn’t it work when men use the same tactic: when reason is actually on their side? I used to think that it was because there was a lack of awareness. Or maybe that a lot of men behaved like traitors to the male cause; because the carrot of sex, validation or approval was dangled in front of them. The big epiphany I had today though was that women simply don’t respond to reason like men do. A long time ago women worked out that by appealing to mens’ logical mind they could influence them. Women in general don’t seem to be influenced the same way which is why trying to fight fire with fire doesn’t work.

Women respond to something a bit different. That is to say, masculine power is a bit different. Women respond to masculine power. What is masculine power? I’m still uncovering this for myself but I have some good ideas:

  • Ambition
  • Passionate pursuit of something
  • Intent
  • Dominating behaviour such as taking up more space or cutting them off
  • Eye contact, tonality, body-language
  • Authoritativeness
  • Radical honesty
  • Non-neediness
  • Physicality
  • Sexuality
  • Self-amusement
  • Presence

How could anything ever be more powerful than this. However, society has taught us in some form that everything on this list is undesirable. Sexist. Oppressive. Based on misguided and outdated principles. It’s structured to make it near impossible for most men to be like this. I think feminists knew this. They understood the key to influencing women and they saw it as threatening behaviour. The sad thing is that when men are like this, they are happy. Most women are too.

So next time you find yourself in a situation where a woman doesn’t seem to be responding to reason or respecting your will, try to influence her in the language that she is programmed to be influenced by. Don’t worry about expecting her to be a certain way because you’d prefer it: feminism killed that dead (in the anglosphere). Society gave you the wrong expectations, that’s why you’re suffering bitches as I have been. By the way, locker room talk counts as self-amusement. Notice instead that they respect and respond how you like when you take the different approach of doing what influences them.

I remember once, as a teenager, I told my mother to “stop being a bitch”. I don’t remember the situation. I think I was “trying it on”. I’ve never seen her react so strongly. Her face instantly contorted in rage in such an intense way that I literally turned around to run and she kicked me on the butt. Then I was going to move out but she wept and apologised so I stayed.

As a child at a basketball camp, there were two female instructors and about a dozen children doing some activity. We were asked to all join hands I felt a bit like “ew girls” and in Bart Simpson fashion said I didn’t want to get cooties. The two instructors, in tandem, made me feel that it was utterly unacceptable to say that. That part of me was never to see the light of day. Repression in action.

These two stories show something about how men are conditioned by society and the masculine’s way of making light of things has been curtailed and retarded. To be honest and reasonable the word bitch is no worse than the word jerk. I think it’s a very good word actually because it describes something that is prevalent and a lot of people want to deride it. Bitchiness would be less prevalent if we were allowed to talk about it. The only thing that has made it bad is feminism. Likewise, “cooties” represents the attitude towards women that we naturally have as youngsters. Before we were taught to put  pussy on a pedestal. I think that it’s a healthy, playful attitude to have. (I let out a deep sigh) it was so nice not to have to take others so seriously. Words to reclaim:

  • Bitch
  • Wuss/sissy/pussy
  • Cuck

So far I have discussed things on a personal level. I think this is important because it’s key to happiness and relating with women successfully. Apparently not all men feel this though. Some, like my brother, are more disposed to the view that gender is a construct et cetera. It seems to be a matter of personal preference. Unfortunately, men like this seem  to be well-disposed to feminism and stepping into the role society has laid out for them (the chump doormat father). What I have said so far though will resonate with a lot of men as well. Once the movement grows in whatever form, and society reacts to our will, there will be a third type of man who will join us. This type is the most numerous, the most moderate, can go either way and just does what society expects them to for the most part. So, beyond the personal level this is what our success will look like.

The leader counts. The beliefs, values, preferences and attitudes of a leader filter down throughout the organisation. Even if that organisation is a nation or an empire. I’m convinced that feminism is so successful is Australia partly because we’ve had a female head of state for the past 65 years. It’s like a constant tailwind for them and a headwind for us. Trump has a good intuition about what’s good for men. He appeals to men. Polls show that men (and women) will vote for a based candidate such as him by the million. Further than Trump you have people like Putin or Erdogan. The thing is that Trump can get voted out for someone like Obama; who does things like unilaterally announce on the music awards that rappers are to respect women. It’s not about authoritarianism because autocrats can be cucks too: it’s about personality. In my view monarchy is the last resort. There needs to be checks and balances because no one wants to live under a despot.

Most men have common interests. They would prefer certain laws over others. They find the way some things are now to be perverted such as false-rape charges and anything related to the family court or men interacting with women. I believe there is a place for advocacy of men’s interests. Why not? It’s reasonable but for some reason doesn’t sit right. So that means it’s dirty but someone has to do it. Why not pay some people to campaign for mens’ interests as women have done? And the government should do it too. The thing is that women have made society as they want it to be, politically. The judicial system almost always favours women, unreasonably so. This is because there is nothing to counterbalance the institutionalisation of advocacy for women. There needs to be institutionalised advocacy for men. Don’t tell me about the patriarchy: there’s nothing in the patriarchy to effect the legal system. This is a rather ugly part of the overall strategic framework. It’s ugly from the feminist point of view as well though: that’s why you never hear about it. They are groups with acronym names that you’ve never heard of before that get funded mysteriously and quietly work against half the population. Without this type of advocacy, or some authoritarian top-down intervention, the legal system will remain unfair, even hostile to men.

Finally there is what I call culture, or brotherhood. How would this look? Well, I think it will look a bit like certain figureheads. Leaders. People we admire from the past and in the current climate. We need to protect our idols. We can no longer accept people defaming our Jeremy Clarksons and our Julien Blancs. We can no longer accept a media industry that only produces “progressive” works and shits all over what we like; as Star Wars has done. There is a well established force of people on social media who are quick to criticise whenever there is “traditional gender roles” in a movie such as in Jurassic Park. That means more Admiral Holdos and less Indiana Joneses. We need to be equally quick to criticise them and those who presume to produce things which offend us. Our idols, songs and myths are close to our heart; we must defend them. Primarily this battle is online but occasionally in the form of protests, confrontation or written letters.

A big part of this is about big companies. They respond to monetary incentives above all else. They have marketing departments who go over their message with a fine-tooth comb. Schools know what’s in their programs. It sounds complex but it’s really quite simple: if you don’t like what they’re about then don’t support them with your purchase, attendance or viewership. If television or newspaper as a whole seems overrun with feminism, then switch to a different medium. In doing so the companies and industries that we like will grow, and others will wither. Conglomerates and geopolitics respond to social forces among others so be one. When I say brotherhood, I mean enough men demanding the same thing that it comes to be. Men who are traitors should pay a price socially. Better yet, they should be conditioned when they’re young like I was chastised into respecting women. It’s not risky – just do it the way it’s been done for 4,000+ years. In time, men will learn to believe in it and intuitively act in their own best interest as women have done.

It’s hard for me to tell you to challenge feminism at work or in the board room, which is where a lot of the action is. In time the markets will change and organisations will change tone in response. Beyond the market though, there are people within the organisation, sector and economy who have certain preferences. In my experience, if they can, people do make hire/fire decisions based on ideology. So do what I do: run your own organisation or work for yourself. Climb the ladder and be an excellent manager, executive or director. Be the expert who is indispensable or sought after. If you’re like this then you are at little risk to people with conflicting world-views. If you or someone else get persecuted for being “conservative” (i.e. believing there are two genders and more men gravitate towards tech) then make them lose money for it in some form, at some time.

In summary, here is the model:

  • Personal: be a person of influence by manifesting masculine power
  • Taboos: engage in locker-room talk and intelligently rebuild the shame landscape
  • The Leader: support the right leaders
  • Advocacy: get someone to right the legal system
  • Culture: our idols and myths matter – fight for them
  • Indispensability: be the leaders, owners and experts

Australia in the World Cup: A Spiritual Awakening

I’m sitting on the couch right now in the aftermath of Australia’s loss to Peru in the World Cup. Subsequently we are the lowest country in the group stage. A disappointing outcome. More than that though, I found watching this match depressing spiritually.

We did improve throughout the match. I did feel like others felt the same thing, so it’s not quite so crazy-making.

For me, this match held a glaring spotlight on Australia’s weakness as a people. It’s the same things that worry me most every single day. Our culture is sick and frustratingly out of sync with tradition. We’ve created some surface-level bullshit where there’s no underlying meaning to anything and there’s no goddamn intent or passion.

Seeing all the beautiful women from all over the world, with few exceptions, it seems like you’re looking at a sweet young girl who grew up into a sexually mature version of that little girl. Or an older lady who has matured into a nice grandmother. When you see Australian women on the big screen though it’s like you’re looking at something else. Some unhappy, bossy, resistant adult human. With every fibre of my being I want this strange female ego which has developed here to dissipate or be defeated.

And the male players. They seemed like weak pussies. Not physically. In terms of lacking intent. Lacking that killer instinct. Being able to win. To seize opportunities in the moment that arise like the split-second that a springbok pops up and then is quickly gone. To put on pressure and want to watch the light in the other guy’s eyes go out. That’s what this game felt like.

I crave living in a society like this. Not a nanny state which spends its whole communication budget on getting women into sports and stopping violence. There’s real issues that need to be solved. Above all, men need to become men again. It is masculinity which will solve issues like global warming and pollution of the oceans.

If you try to “step up” and behave differently then you’re met with a uncomprehending reaction. And implicit rejection. For example. Part of my dream is to be a pickup artist so I can live a life of personal freedom from a game that makes me constantly depressed and frustrated. This is an example of a man’s desire to win. In this country though that is discouraged.

Lately I have been stepping up. I have been going out solo. That is the strategy I’ve chosen. It’s the hardest strategy because of social pressure and stigma but also the surest because people are unreliable these days. I want to go out and work on my social skills and improve what I sub-communicate. Practise things like push-pull, holding court, being irreverent. Learn to be a closer. Face my fears and go for what I want.

If a man knows what he wants to do then no one should presume to stand in his way. It should be honoured. It’s that drive which brings change into the world. What gives meaning to the world. It’s what led to us becoming more than just apes in the savannah. Now the reason becomes clear. There are elements in society which are threatened by it. The feminists of yesteryear still walk among us, off scot-free. Masculinity itself is threatening to them. Even a man leading is threatening. Behaving in a way that makes men happy is threatening. How sick we’ve become.

Violence against women has been the justification for stifling and changing so much. I don’t recall ever deciding that was the supreme value though. And it truly seems to be. I honestly think that there was a generation of feminists that just got so damn triggered that no one wanted to deal with them and they got the courts on their side and now it’s taboo to put hands on a woman or act like a man at all. Womens’ approval seems to be the ultimate standard. I think if you’re in an abusive relationship then you can leave and living in a nanny state is unfair for men.

I like women. Really. I like them when they are held to account. When something is expected of them. When they are deferent and have good posture and big eyes taking everything in. Not narrow, challenging slits behind compulsive gestures and raised shoulders. To get them to be the former you have to be something that society morally rejects. Legally though you can. You can go out and approach. You can write what you really think. I’m doing that right now in spite of the risk of being socially blacklisted. In Russia it’s the other way around.

I believe that it all starts with the queen. She’s been our head-of-state for 65 years. She has said she will abdicate in 2020 and that’s what I’m holding my breath for. I hope that that year Trump will be reelected and Australia will have a new head-of-state, the pendulum will finally swing and trickle-down effects will be felt. I hope that somehow big-money will see its interest is in feminism dying.

Australian men. We need to take control. That might mean becoming a republic. Or maybe it means try having a king and see how that goes. It means being offensive. It means breaking social norms. Backing down feminists when they get angry. It means pursuing your dreams and reaching the fullest expression of self. It means pushing back against women which feminism has made to push against them in all areas of life. Find meaning outside of starting a family and buying a house. Do what makes you happy and don’t accept bitches in any form. Learn how to be the provider if necessary but also the killer who’s unfuckwithable. Pick up a bible or classic for curiosity’s sake, rejecting the stigma. Be entrepreneurs, business-owners and experts who openly value being a man. Let’s make this island nation one of greatest countries on Earth.

Self-Actualisation vs Social Media Validation

About 2 years ago I was going to meetups and language exchanges. And working. That’s what my social life consisted of. I was meeting a lot of people and adding them on Facebook. Mostly though I’d never hear or see from them again. Passengers. I had cut ties with all of the people I was closest with growing up because self-help recommended it. Or they’d cut ties with me. My social anxiety was through the roof.

Back in high school I used to be “well-connected”. Until Facebook came out. Then it went south. I’m 28 now. I never have seemed to get Facebook very well. Didn’t understand how people could have thousands of friends and get hundreds of likes. When I’ve only ever had a few hundred friends and very rarely get over ten likes. What caused it.

This has always bothered me. Not so much about feeling inferior as about feeling alone. I didn’t understand why the people I felt connected with didn’t acknowledge what I put out there to show them. A loyal few did at least. Ones who seemed to pick me for reasons I don’t know. 100% of the time women didn’t return my messages. Even if it would be the most reasonable thing in the world to do so. Being ignored on social media hurt the most when I was really doing things which were great expressions of the self I wanted to be. Making personal progress. What I am most consoled by is that Elon Musk, a fellow INTJ and probably the greatest living human, would get few likes on Facebook as well.

I’ve held onto three possible explanations why:

  1. I wasn’t working out, wearing cool clothes, taking good photos,
  2. I wasn’t enough of a social “insider”, seeing people in person.
  3. I wasn’t actualised yet; or even on my heart’s path or ikigai.

Over the last 1-8 weeks I’ve manifested all those things and more. Essentially achieved my childhood dreams or am well on the way to. An events planning organisation that ensures I have authority and more to do socially that I could ask for, with the people I most interested in knowing. My persona is now mostly that of a world-travelling, badass, pickup artist entrepreneur who meditates and learns BJJ, Chinese and piano. The Lotus technique has helped with mental health. This 100% what I always wanted to be.

Of course one hopes that their success will be met with greater esteem, love, and attention. On the contrary, though I’ve found that I’m getting less love than ever on social media. It’s chilling at times. Social standards are not good standards for everyone it seems.

What I have learned over these years is this: self-actualisation doesn’t necessarily correlate with more validation on social media. I would choose self actualisation over likes ten times out of ten though. Likes and comments fulfill just one need. Self actualisation fulfills many.

Would I do anything different? Not drastically. Only be less attached.

How to proceed? Quitting Facebook is difficult when one has business interests vested there. Not sharing so much would be good but I often feel the need to express myself there. Let people know I’m there. Is that a character flaw? It doesn’t match the stoic, private ideal. Or any of the other ideal manners of interacting with Facebook.

To question is enough for now though. It creates the requisite neural connections to go forth with wisdom.

If you don’t seem to click well with social media then I hope that I’ve taught you not to be attached to ever clicking with it, like that ESFP or ESFJ you can compare yourself with. The good news is that there’s plenty of other things in life which are meaningful. And there are other avenues to fulfil those psychological needs or transcend them.

The Lotus Technique

Recently I was listening to an audiobook about personal transformation, and the author prescribed a meditation routine with 8 parts. You’re supposed to spend a week mastering the first step, then add a few steps when your proficient, and so forth. The idea being to chunk it all into one fluid motion that you don’t have to think about. The same idea applies here.

For a long time I’ve worried myself about bullshit. Relentless testing triggers that occur throughout the day, that put you in your head and on the back foot, often questioning your own worth. I might go into what such things mean but The truth is don’t know, and rationalising about them gets you nowhere except a downward spiral. So I devised this routine as a way of regaining emotional self-control and poise.

Interestingly I’ve found a lot of the things that are effective don’t involve tussling with the perpetrator via intention. Trust me. I think what’s best practise is basically what psychologists teach nowadays.

There are five steps partly because it’s pleasant to be able to count them off your fingers. Mostly though it’s because it’s enough to be holistic without going overboard.

So here is my gift to you, a way of thriving in spite of triggering people in situations that you shouldn’t remove yourself from. The lotus technique. By the way it’s called lotus because it allows you to be like a clean lotus flower in an environment of mud and dirt. Poise, presence and intention are characteristics of this routine.

1. Muscle relaxation and acceptance of what is

2. Mindful attention of one breath

3. Think something helpful (could be an affirmation, positive reframe, objectivisation, thought challenging etc)

4. Do with your body or actions how it would be if you felt how you would like (e.g. smile, stop fidgeting, sit up straight, make eye contact)

5. Realign with your values

I’ve been to a psychologist for 12 weeks and this pretty well runs the gamut of what they teach for dealing with depression and anxiety. So what I predict for you if you start doing this is strengthening these neural networks and thereby increasing your overall well-being.

The more you do it the easier it will get. Neutrons that fire together wire together. Soon you’ll be unconsciously relaxing your muscles, being present, acting confidently, thinking right and being aligned with your values. The hardest part is step 3 and pretty soon you’ll have memorised thought patterns for dealing with common situations so that will become easy.

The beauty of having muscle relaxation as the first step is that it’s easy and it itself acts as an anchor. Rather than, say, tapping your fingers twice on your leg. Your body will know what to do when you release tension like that in response to something.